Criticizing Lawyers, Teachers & Dating
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* Daly & Dating: Bob & co-host Doug McBurney thank Jim Daly of Focus on the Family for warning parents and kids about the dangers of the modern day dating game, and Bob points out the benefits of courtship and arranged marriages!
* CPR Denied, Family Fine With That: The story of how Lorraine Bayliss died after being denied CPR after suffering an apparent heart attack shocked the nation. But Bob & Doug read quotes from the woman’s family, the state of elderly care in America, and the truth about “Do Not Resuscitate” orders, which are all fairly shocking as well.
* Aurora Killer’s Judge Mocks Justice: The judge in the Aurora theater massacre case has entered a plea of “not guilty” on behalf of the killer. Find out why that judge, Blackstone and all the other lawyers are mostly wrong when it comes to justice.
* Reason 673: We weren’t sure which was the most compelling reason; the fact that a teacher was molesting an elementary school student, or the fact that a fellow teacher believed that in light of the crime others would come to realize that “we are a great school”.
* Fat Lesbians Attract Gov’t Loot: Doug is not making up the story of a government study of why lesbians are fat.
* Definition of Legal Terms: Ambrose Bierce, an insightful political satirist who was critical of American governance, wrote definitions for legal terms such as:
Accomplice, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, such as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
Appeal, v.t. In law, to put the dice in the box for another throw.
Lawful, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.
Lawyer, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
Litigation, n. A machine which you go into as a pig, and come out of as a sausage.
Precedent, n. In Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases...
Rope, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
Tree, n. A tall vegetable intended by nature to serve as a penal apparatus, though through a miscarriage of justice most trees bear only a negligible fruit, or none at all. When naturally fruited, the tree is a beneficent agency of civilization and an important factor in public morals.
Trial, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.